"Let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really are." RumiEllie Finlay has a lovely blog called "Meditation Matters - St. John's Center." It has wonderful little insights and beautiful photos. I'm obviously very big on meditating and have been for twenty years.
But it wasn't so in the beginning! My first experience with meditating scared the pee out of me! About 2 years after my daughter, Meghan, was born I became so stressed out I couldn't be "still" without losing my mind! I signed up for a stress management course and one of the requirements was to listen to a 20 minute meditation tape twice a day. I was determined NOT to do it!!! However, my teacher, being determined to get me to see how much I needed to do it, was very patient and understanding even though I was terrified. Imagine that! Terrified to be still and meditate twice a day. But I tried it and I followed her instructions word for word. Meditating with a two year old was a little strange. Fortunately, my daughter was consistently enthralled with a VHS tape that lasted .... 20 minutes!... called "Clifford the Big Red Dog." I would play her tape on tv and simultaneously plug in my headsets to my cassette player, I'd close my eyes, and off we would go into our own little worlds with me lifting an eye lid every now and then to make sure she was still alive! Eventually I began to be more and more comfortable with it and even started to look forward to it. At some point meditation became something I couldn't function without.
During menopause it's a blessing!
Wherever she is, I give thanks to my first meditation teacher, Mariana Jenkins. It was worth the initial struggle by far. And speaking of teachers.... I have made an appointment with a personal weight trainer who will be coming to my home tomorrow afternoon. She sounds great. I'm really looking forward to that and writing an entry about it!
But it wasn't so in the beginning! My first experience with meditating scared the pee out of me! About 2 years after my daughter, Meghan, was born I became so stressed out I couldn't be "still" without losing my mind! I signed up for a stress management course and one of the requirements was to listen to a 20 minute meditation tape twice a day. I was determined NOT to do it!!! However, my teacher, being determined to get me to see how much I needed to do it, was very patient and understanding even though I was terrified. Imagine that! Terrified to be still and meditate twice a day. But I tried it and I followed her instructions word for word. Meditating with a two year old was a little strange. Fortunately, my daughter was consistently enthralled with a VHS tape that lasted .... 20 minutes!... called "Clifford the Big Red Dog." I would play her tape on tv and simultaneously plug in my headsets to my cassette player, I'd close my eyes, and off we would go into our own little worlds with me lifting an eye lid every now and then to make sure she was still alive! Eventually I began to be more and more comfortable with it and even started to look forward to it. At some point meditation became something I couldn't function without.
During menopause it's a blessing!
Wherever she is, I give thanks to my first meditation teacher, Mariana Jenkins. It was worth the initial struggle by far. And speaking of teachers.... I have made an appointment with a personal weight trainer who will be coming to my home tomorrow afternoon. She sounds great. I'm really looking forward to that and writing an entry about it!
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3 comments:
Diane, the idea of being afraid of 20 minutes of stillness---multiplied times two---isn't silly at all: rather, it's very natural, and doubly so for a mother of a 2-year-old!
I applaud you for the wisdom to know at that time of your life that it was a necessary thing that you would do No Matter What.
It's gutsy, not silly!
(My first stab at meditation? When I was in the 5th grade. Read about TM in the newspaper or some such and decided to sit in my attic room in the summertime, in the heat and the dark, to see how long I could remain still. Now *that's* silly!)
I'm looking forward to hearing about your first visit with the trainer!
Thank you, Neroli! I have heard one other person talk about a frightening first experience with meditation.
I love your TM experience! In the attic during summertime, in the heat, in the dark? I probably would have passed out!! (ha ha)
Diane
I too had a hard time at first, but slowly I gained patience and the ability to sit for over an hour, when I have time. I make time every morning after the kids go to school, and it's my anchor for the whole day.
Recently I helped work on a web site to promote a teacher I've been with since I was 19, who taught me how to go inside.
see wordsofpeace.com for video clips and information.
best
jenn
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